Head goes one way, body goes the other

There used to be an ad on TV where a little kid says “a monster bit me into parts no pieces and my head went one way and my body went the other” it was a rather money moment i the ad.

I am finding this very relevant to my struggles at the moment, I know in my heart and my head that I need to change what I am doing, but my body doesn’t seem to understand that a change needs to occur.  It is an odd dilema and I guess in reality it comes doing to will power and I seem to be lacking in that area at the moment.

Tomorrow is going to be a big test for me, and I hope I am at least able to get a pass mark, probably not a distinction but definitely a pass mark.

Looking forward to seeing some of you on Friday night, and looking forward to actually seeing Friday.

See you all there hopefully, if not I am sure to catch you some time.

Interesting Times

God moves in mysterious ways – I am slowly learning that.

I don’t understand how God works, I guess if I did God wouldn’t be God would He.  When I think I am beginning to understand what God has in store for me everything changes.  I am growing so much as a Christian and relying more on God almost daily.

With the recent changes at church recently a friend mentioned that he had a meeting with our Pastor to talk about a few things and he asked the Pastor how he was going with all the changes.  The Pastor said he has never been better – he has had to learn to trust in God more than he has ever had to in the past.

It is odd how when we hit a brick wall we are given a choice, do we get back up off the ground or do we get back up and start climbing the wall.  In the past and I have always stayed slumped on the ground for too long, now I am trying to climb that wall in front of me.  I am not over the wall yet, but I can see the top and I am getting ever closer to the top each day.

Psalm 37:24 – though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

I would like to reword the above verse to read – though I stumble, I will not fall, for the LORD upholds me with His hands.  I too often forget this promise and go about doing this my way, I need to come back to the promise that is presented in this verse and be upheld in everything that I do.

Depression

Ok, so I am probably going to insult most people who read this, but too bad its about my thoughts not yours.

I was laying in bed last night not sleeping, and thinking about things and that I should post of my blog again, so I am going to try and write down a few of my thoughts my last night.

I personally struggle with a few things one of them if I went to a counselor would be classed as depression.   I now however have come to the realisation that its not just about depression, its out my own belief in God and what He is able to do in and through me.  God made me who I am, ok I choose to abuse my own body but I am who God wants me to be and He will use how I am.  I don’t need to be a super fit human, I just need to be available and He will use me in ways I never thought possible.

Are you available to God, is He able to use you, or are you affected by some form of depression.  You know the devil will use anything he possibly can to stop you from doing God’s work, he will use depression to put doubts into your mind to make you think you are worthless and that you cant do anything.  If you breakthrough that not only will you defeat the devil you will also be available for God to work through you and you may even be able to help others going through similar times to what you are currently experiencing.

Hopefully there will be less time between this post and my next.

Who can you trust

I have come to the realisation that you can’t trust anyone.  I have totally lost faith in the human race, there was an announcement at church today which once again broke my heart.

In my church life ie once I went to church because I wanted too, I have put my trust in a number of people – first one got a divorce from his wife because he wasn’t spending enough time with her (supposedly), then someone who I thought was one of my best friends had an affair with another friend who I looked up to a role model.  So after that I was very defensive and would try my hardest not to get close to anyone else in the future.  However three years after coming to my current church I was slowly breaking down those barriers.

Bang!! Today it all feel to pieces and I now I feel back to square one.  Its not going to be easy building up that trust, so if any of my friends feel that I am ignoring them it is just my way of trying to cope with this all over again.

Don’t get me wrong whilst I have lost my trust in people, the last time I had to go through this I grew closer to God which I believe has made me a better person for that.  Hopefully everyone from church is able to grow out of this – big shout out to my mate cc’s who is reading this.

Reliance

I have never really had to rely on anyone for much, I have always had access to a car from my parents before I could afford one I have mostly had enough money to do things that other friends couldn’t always afford.  This was until very recently and I am learning to rely much more upon God.  I have been looking for a house, and think I found one today.  It is going to be interesting times ahead for me, I will probably have to start doing some contract work when I am not working so I can afford to continue to do things.  It has been an interesting couple of weeks and I am sure I will continue to grow in faith in the coming weeks.  The purchased isn’t all finalised – far from it, because it is a private purchase, but it will be very interesting, I am looking forward to it with some fear but excitement at the same time.

Your Relationship

How is your relationship with the Holy Spirit?

The Holy Spirit is what gives us the power over the things of this world, do we fully harness the power of the Holy Spirit.

How do we know where the Holy Spirit wants us, we need to be in tune with Him. So how do we go about this, well it is a similar concept to how we get to know anyone.  We need to spend time talking and listen to Him and then we will find out how He truly ticks and we can then be living out the life that He wants us to live out.

PS it has been a while, but hopefully normal regular transmission will resume.

What Tune Are You Dancing To?

Sunday we were challenged to find out what tune we were dancing to. Are we dancing to the tune of the Holy Spirit or are we dancing to a tune we are making up as we go along?

We often read the book and work out what to do and what not to do, and we often stick to the letter of the law, but in our Christian lives we have the Holy Spirit who works in mysterious ways and often doesn’t conform to how we expect. I know I often pray and when the pray is answered I get surprised, I shouldn’t be surprised because I know first hand that God answers prayers, sometime differently to what we expect/want but he answers them.

So how do we know what tune we should be dancing to?  We need to be in a growing relationship with the Holy Spirit so we can understand if the tune we are dancing to is the Holy Spirit or something totally different.

I pray I can know the tune to dance to, I am currently listening for my tune – I have a few interesting things ahead that I would like to make the right decisions.

Give Thanks

I was watching a TV show the other night and there was some premature babies being shown. It hit home how much I forget about thanking God.

I know in my own life I have many things to be thankful for – family, church, friends, job, health – just to name a few, but I neglect to thank God for them often enough.

Today I am most thankful I am alive, even in that I have many problems to overcome daily, but I am just thankful to wake up each morning and know that I can live another day.

Are you thankful enough?  Is there ever enough thankfulness considering how much God has done for us and given us can we really be thankful enough – probably not, but I am going to try and be thankful more.

Post-Christmas Sales

I am not sure about other countries but in Australia we have large post-Christmas sales and it seems that everyone goes crazy buying stuff – for many it is even things they need, they just buy because it is on special. The papers are full of items for sale 50% off this, 75% off that – it is shoppers dream, a retail workers nightmare and a shop owners dream too.

Yesterday in church we were reminded that Jesus purchased us for God, Jesus paid the highest price for us, His death; death on a cross it was the ultimate price that could be paid. The verse reference was Revelation 5:9 (see below).

Revelation 5:9
And they sang a new song:
“You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation.

I think at this time of the year we need to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, only through Him do we have a relationship with God, what sort of bargain were you?

Ministry?

I am involved in a ministry that is unthankless most of the time (which I don’t mind most of the time) but at times I get a little annoyed at people who expect you to drop everything and perform miracles with the tools we have in our possession.  Particularly during this busy holiday season it seems worse than normal, although I am not sure why.

It could be a lot to do with only being 2 of us in the team at the moment and with 2 services a weekend and one of us having to be at each service it makes it tough.  I am finding myself only going to church when I am on and when I am on I don’t get as much out of the service as when I am free in the service.  The worrying thing for me is that this was a similar feeling that I had at gg and was one of the reason I left.  The second worrying thing is the leader of the team is feeling very similar and is feeling very let down by people in the church at the moment.

I am hoping to speak to our young adults leader about it and get it sorted out – particularly for the leader of the team.  I can easily solve my problem by going to church even if I am not rostered on, I just hope I can sort out the issues and 2008 can be another great year of growth in my life.